GOD: as the agnostic sees him

GOD: Do you believe in MY existence?

man: No, i don't. YOU don't expect me to be so naive. i mean, come on, there can't be someone who is omnipresent or omniscient or omnipotent or omni-everything.

GOD: Does that mean you do not believe in me?

man: i don't want to... but i have to.

GOD: How so?

man: It's all an arrangement of convenience for me.

GOD: Please elaborate...

man: Look I'll give YOU an example. i leave for work at approximately the same time every day. Assume that one fine morning i get caught in a traffic jam that just refuses to clear up. i am helpless. And so i turn to YOU. And because my condition can in no way be explained by a cause-effect relation of any of my prior actions, i blame YOU. i have no other option.

GOD: you mean I am just a scapegoat?

man: Ah!! i could not phrased it any better.

GOD: But you don't always blame ME. You thank ME as well at times. And there's always the frentic praying!!

man: i concede that i do thank YOU. Just like the traffic jam above, if at times the cosmos does align itself in the opposite orientation and something inexplicable happens that triggers a chain of good fortune for me, i have to express my exhilerations. That i do by thanking YOU. It's just my way of reassuring myself that i still deserve to be happy, be loved and be successful. But it's just an expression of my overwhelming excitement. i don't really believe that some GOD in some far-off land has chosen me from amongst the trillions on this planet... and then bestowed upon me such precious gifts. The odds of something like this happening in a real world situation are ridiculously minuscule.

GOD: So it all boils down to probability?

man: yes, it does. Does not the third law of thermodynamics state that "the entropy of the universe is always increasing". And let me reiterate that it's an established law, no hypothesis, no fancy theory, no axiom but a law. And in the course of this expansion, things tend to happen and un-happen. The universe changes alignments, some people win lotteries and others lose at the capital markets- it's all probability and it's all random.

GOD: But if it all is really probability, why can't your sciences explain it all?

man: Science is just a subject akin to an organic body- it sees, observes, deduces, grows and then explains what it has fully understood. It's been doing that for ages and will continue to do so. It would not be completely wise to discredit all things that science can't explain. 500 years earlier, we did not know the exact mechanics of current and electricity but they existed even then. Now we know, so we understand it better. Science is expanding like the universe, it is not the be-all and end-all of everything- science is unlike YOU. Science is not GOD.

GOD: Then what is GOD??

man: YOU are playing clever now, trying to trap me in questions that i can't comprehensively answer, that no man can answer. Is it not ridiculous of YOU to ask me to explain a thing i believe is not there in the first place. i say YOU do not exist, yet YOU ask me to explain YOU. Frankly speaking, YOU are nothing. And therein lies the beauty of YOUR arrangement, YOUR convenience. Because YOU are NOT, YOU can be anything. YOU claim to be the hills and the rivers and the stones and the animals. YOU even claim to be me. And because YOU are not, YOU don't need to explain stuff, YOU don't need to validate your claims. YOU can get away with it all. It is i who has to do the explaining part, because i exist, because i am.

GOD: But are you not because of ME?

man: No, absolutely not. I am just a consequence of a series of random steps that initiated long back, may be in times unknown. i am just a transition state in a chain of events that neither began with me nor will culminate at me. i am just another link in the chain.

GOD: So where lies the beginning of it all?

man: The beginning lies where the chain started. We have people who are working on retracing the steps that have led to the present. And when we do find the beginning, i will let YOU know because YOU, of all, deserve to know.

GOD: But how will you let ME know? How will you find ME? And where? you say I am NOT!!

man: i believe YOU will come back to question me again, like YOU question me today. Till then, enjoy YOUR supremacies and our ignorances. adios...

Oh the times!!!Oh the days!!!never more torturous...

If you have no clue about what I am saying, its probably because you aren't here in Maniapl. Its exam time...I am smack in the miiddle of my 4th sem-end exams. And I am highly tempted to use the age old cliche-so much to study, so little time...well, you might argue that the dates still change only once every 24 hours but look at what goes on in between this transition. Piles of books, notes and questions waiting to be touched, almost as impatient as a 30 year old virgin. And that is not just it...You  also have the bed that entices you every minute of your sleepless existence, promising the comfort and care-free existence of days gone by. There's the outside world as well that hasn't spared you. All of India is immersed in politics and cricket, but not necessarily in the same order. Then you also have a soccer team in far-off Manchester that is bringing joy to your world by winning a consecutive third title. In all this melee of frenzied human activity, I believe it only sane for an impressionable bloke like me to lose the desire to sit bundled with books when there'a a lot more to see, learn about and rejoice in.

I just hope this blog finds its way to my Dad's desktop so that i don't have to explain my slipping grades to him, again... 

I have seen GOD

I had a dream last night...which is very unusual for a person who sleeps like me. I can proudly say that I have unravelled those really deep frontiers of slumber that even dreams find hard to penetrate. So, it is very rarely that I dream. And last night's dream was no ordinary vision.

I had a vision of God in my dream. There He was standing in front of me-resplendent in His shining armour, yet smiling benevolently. His face though was not visible. Allow me an attempt at describing his form. He was neither magnificent in form nor towering in presence. He, in fact, came across as rather docile. He was around 5 feets and a half in height with a very childish face. When He spoke, His voice did not resonate a la the GOD in 'Bruce Almighty'. In fact, He was nothing like what Gods are supposed to be. His voice was soft and carried the innocence of a 10 year old child. Slightly rotund yet agile, He wore a strage blue costume that had 'Sahara India' written on it in bold prints. Maybe He wanted to convey to us the fact that He is our only sahara-hope, belief and much more. For ornaments He wore stranger things. He had a blue fluffy leg-guard that covered his feet from the ankle to a little above the knees, the padding being a little pronounced on the knees. I can only guess that it was to protect His lower legs from any below-the-belt attack by the enemy or to provide comfort to His legs when it was required of him to bend down on his knees and take careful aim at His nemesis.On His left hand, he wore a white protective sheath, wrapped tightly and carefully, maybe to nullify the impact of enemy missiles he was expecting to be showered with. He had all his fingers and both palms tucked safely inside a pair of gloves that were thick enough to negate the impact of any hostile attack yet were flexible enough to allow Him a good grip on His weapon, the details of which will be divulged later. He was also wearing a thick protective board or similar equipment on the outer side of His left thigh under His trousers-though not visible, the object did make its presence felt by the bulge that it caused. The heavily fortified left part of the body clearly indicated that it was this part of the body that  was going to be exposed to the enemy. Now for His weapon-it was a very unusual piece of object. Defying all convention, it was crafted out of wood. The amount of hard-work that went into making the weapon though was clearly visible in its form which was all shiny and smooth. Even though it bore a starkling resemblance to a mace, it was flat on one side with a slight triangular bulge at the top on the other. Written boldly on top of His weapon were the words-MRF. I have no clue whatsoever regarding the true import of these words but they must surely be having a deep impact to be associated with Him. 

And I was fortunate enough not to just see Him but see Him vanquish the enemy. Despite all the armour that He wore, He was very light and sure on his feet. His feet movement were supple. His arms moved like the finest Greek poetry. The way He was using his weapon was truly amazing and awe-inspiring. Surely, no other creature or Creator could accomplish the same. When He ran, it was with the ease of a hare. His gaze was as unwavering as a stork searching for fish in water. When He retaliated to enemy fire, His face contorted a bit. Such was his concentration that all the jibing and taunting by the enemy could not evoke even a single un-manly response from Him. He was well aware of the job at hand and did it with such amazing dexterity that even the heavens showered Him with myriad flowers. Bards sat in a trance wathing Him fight and kept writing literature in His praise. He fought gallantly and single-handedly managed to vanquish all opposition. He slay many a warriors and ran amok in the enemy ranks. Humbled and subjugated, even the enemy chief sang peans eulogizing his bravary.

And when the war was over and it was time for Him to go, He parted with the words-'I will try not to fail you, but am only human so I might. Yet rest assured all ye mere mortals that I will come back to fill your life with happiness and pleasures and will always make you smile.'

And then in the light of the halo that appeared behind his head, I saw his face. He was indeed God. He was SACHIN TENDULKAR. 

A day in the life of an MITian

Isn’t it??...isn’t it??...she said 24 out of 31 last day…that’ll make it 24 out of 32 today!!That’s 75 per cent all right...zzzzzzzzz

Damn the phone!!!What is it Raj??Damn you man, you woke me up.

Thanks for the piece of info. Now, if you don’t mind can you please get your ass out of the bed? It’s the COA tutorial today and you have only 15 minutes to make it to class. Am in the class right now so I’ll hang up but you better hurry.

(aloud) Holy mother of Christ! How could I forget that? (ad-lib) Yeah Raj, you are right, I better hurry.

 

 Sir may I come in please?

Come in if you so will but where’s your book? It’s an open book test.

(ad-lib) Crap! Crap! What do I do now?

Hey get in idiot. I got your book.

Thanks man. That was quick and real smooth.

Mention not.

Take the question paper. And will you two chatter-heads mind coming to the first bench?

No sir. No way. (ad-lib) Darn! I can’t believe I came all the way from the hostel for this. None of these questions make any sense. Open book test, what an irony!

 

 Dude where do you plan on having lunch?

Ask my ass! She’s got the wallet.

Let’s get some ‘cheesy’ stuff at Vikram’s.

Good idea. Let’s go.

 

 Ask him to change the channel on the TV. Go ahead, I dare you.

I won’t. There are girls around. I don’t want to be shouted at by an anna. You concentrate on your Bombay toast. By the way, how about a game of pool?

Ask my ass! She’s got the wallet.

I pay, K?

I’m your man. Let’s go.

 

 Are you born out of Negro parents?

Is that meant to be an insult?

Hell no, its not. The ease with which you get the black ball every time just made me wonder.

Hahaha. That was very funny. You and your jokes are sick. And don’t forget that you are paying for the auto ride back to the hostel.

Tell my ass! She’s got the wallet.

Stop saying that line. It’s getting on my nerves.

My ass on your nerves! That’s funny.

 

 Let’s go to the gym dude. It’s already 6.

Yeah, sure. Meet me the baddy court in 5 minutes.

 

 Beats me. What’s the point of all this mindless gymming when you still have to wear your shirt all day? What chick will get to see these muscles if I am all covered?

The gymming is only for your satisfaction. No chick is ever going to look at your hairy chest and stop herself from throwing up.

I’ll let go of this 25 kg rod right now if you say that again, you moron.

 

 Hurry up dude. I want to get to the mess before they are done with all the leg pieces.

How do I care? I am a veggie.

 

 Balls! Not chane again. Do I look like a horse to them? Why chane everyday?

Wanna try this? It’s quite tasty and juicy. It’s a delicious leg-piece.

No thanks, you moron.

 

 No I am not coming with you. No, no, no. what’s the point of going all the way to the 13th block? You’ll just look at her from afar and clutch at MY hand. No, I am not willing to be a part of your homosexual encounters with the opposite sex.

Please dude, please. I promise I’ll talk to her today.

You better keep that promise. Come on, let’s go.

 

 There she is. Not that side you fool, THERE. I do the walking for you, I do the spotting for you, guess I’ll have to do the talking for you as well.

No thank you. I’ll manage it myself.

In that case, let me tell you that you are a wonderful manager. Still not managed to talk to a single girl after a year and a half at college.

Ok smart Alec. Why don’t you give it a shot?

Not interested. She is not my type.

Smart?

Single.

Shut up playboy. Hey! Should I ask her for coffee?

Ask your ass first! Does it have the wallet?

Shut up and wish me luck.

May the force be with you.

Stop making it sound like a Star Wars mission.

(ad-lib) this is going to be funny. Can’t wait till the morning. I have to tell this to some one. (aloud) Hey Pankaj! Wait on dude. Know what happened right now. Raj has gone to ask Payal for coffee.

So?

Nothing.(ad-lib) Just makes me feel better.

What?

Nothing. You going back to the hostel? Let’s go.

 

 This is sick dude. This is just not right. First time I talk to her just as I had planned. 45 minutes of non-stop chatting and suddenly you have this car full of profs stopping by and shooing us off to our hostels. What the F man? She looked so nervous.

You misread the expression dude. That was shame. Being spotted with you, by the profs, I know how she must be feeling. Must have been one of the worst days of her life. Hehe…

Shut up. I have never met a more insensitive man. Besides they took my library card. Wonder what’s going to happen?

You are going to meet a more insensitive man tomorrow. Sleep tight tonight. You are going to have a very special date tomorrow. DisCo, anyone? Hehe…

Stop scaring me. I just wish they don’t call up dad. That will hurt.

Your dad?

No. ME.

Don’t worry, nothing will happen. It’s your first offence and probably your last. You’ll get away I am sure. Now please go to sleep. I don’t want to miss the second lecture tomorrow morning.

What about the first one?

Do I look like I care???

 

 

The Pakistan Puzzle

India, Pakistan, Kashmir, peace, war, diplomacy, investigations, co-operations, extradition... these are the pieces of the same jigsaw puzzle. Yet at first look they appear to be so inconsistent that no body believes they will fit together. And the cynic is not all wrong. The problem lies in the way Pakistan has handled Pakistan and the way India has handled Pakistan. 

On its part, Pakistan has made a complete mess of what it set out to do. They had a new country, adequate resources and able allies in the USA and China. Theey still managed to botch it up. Not because they were blind. But because they allowed their hatred for India to cloud their vision. Both the US and China exploited this obsession to the full providing Pakistan with weapons and logistic support in their repeated misadventures against India. China went a step ahead and if sources are to be believed, helped Pakistan acquire nuclear weapons. The US was too busy cooking everyone else's broth to pay heed to this and was woken out of its slumber when the Twin Towers collapsed. It realised its folly and decided to rein in Pakistan. By blocking military aid to Pakistan, at least for the time being, and bombing the Talibani bases there, the US has cleared the ruthlessness of its intentions. But China, yet to suffer at the hands of Pakistan, has chosen to prolong its stupor and continues aiding Pakistan.

The change in the attitude of the US atowards Pakistan can be seen as a diplomatic victory for India but much needs to be done on the Chinese front. Our 'Chini' brothers need to be made to see sense or our attempts to mount international pressure on Pakistan will come to a nadir.

We cannot aloow diplomacy to fail for that will leave us with the only other option- war.

There is no Superman, no Spiderman, no Shaktiman...there will never be. All that we'll ever have are Aamirs and Prakash Rathores(movie: a wednesday) and plenty of similar common men. Men who have no superpowers, no superhuman abilities, just their wits, courage and strength of character for company. And it is these men who are going to be the real saviours, the promised messiahs.

I know not if the Gods walked on this earth or ever will. But men will. Lots of them, of all kinds, shapes and sizes. It is often said that all men are born equal, it is thier characters that set them apart. This couldn't have been truer than in the current scenario. In today's world ridden with crisis of all types- social, political, economic and moral, the need is for these common men to rise, to realise their full potentials and take charge of cleaning the mess.

It would be a rank understatement to say that the political class has betrayed us. They taped our eyes and also blurred our vission to mask the truth. Need is for this mist to clear, the haze to disappear so that the true picture emerges. And let me assure you all that the picture is not going to be beautiful or acceptable. And herein lies the challenge. It is our lethargy and indifference that allowed Mumbai to happen, that facilitated Malegaon and Akshardham, that has fed the Kashmiri insurgence and that allowed Mangalore pubs to be vandalised. And it is this lethargy that has to be overcome before we can even dream of vanquishing our foes. And the responsibility of doing so lies in our hands, in the hands of the very people who are happy to be a part of the crowd, mute and wide-eyed, ever complaining yet too cozied in their existence to react and hit back. 

Let us not forget that it is people of our own ilk that constitute the armed forces, the political class, the intelligentsia and the journalists. It is from amongst us that people have risen and proven to be catalysts for change. Baba Amte was a rank commoner, so is Medha Pathkar and a million other people who have silently gone about the job of fighting for our causes. But in their struggles and failures lies our lesson. No man can fight for another. Every one has to fight their own battles, roll in their share of dust, perspire their share of sweat and soil their own share of clothes. Men will have to rise and set their shoulders to the wheel. Revolt against the unjust, complain against the wrong-doers, bring to justice the criminals and recognise the contribution of good men. True leaders of men must be recognised and duly treated for in their strong hands we can entrust our problems, let them take care of things that they specialise in while we do our jobs with honesty and integrity.

It is time we realised the truth that Barrack Obama has so beautifully worded-'we are the change that we want'.

Great words to swear by. Great words to inspire the mediocre to greatness, the lethargic to a life of activity. In our hands lie our destinies, make it or mar it, the call is ours. I just wish good sense prevails.

i think...

...love is like a good book. A friend of yours has a girlfriend. You read a review about  a book and like it. You want to experience love first hand-that is by falling in it(love, of course-but don’t i make it sound like a pit or a mote-bad precedence) yourself. So you are on the lookout for it. And at your local grocers' or at a friend’s party or on your way back from nowhere(isn’t that the place you go to most often???), you run into her. Sitting pretty and proudly on the bookshelf. Enticing and inviting-she is everything you wanted her to be, everything you needed her to be. Your first reaction is to measure yourself up(boys will be boys)-you reach for your wallet to check if you can actually afford it.And then you bite the FORBIDDEN APPLE. You muster the courage to approach her and start a conversation. You bring it home and look at the cover proudly-feels so good to own it. Gradually you get to know her. The more pages you turn,the more interesting it gets-its completely unputdownable. The more you get to know her,the deeper your fondness grows and love follows almost reflexively. Then a time comes when you can no longer stop reading it-the urge to explore the next page is just too overpowering. You propose. The book then reveals the final intricacies of its plot. You love her(she gave you no option...or was it life???) and the fun part is that even she loves you. And then the dreaded moment comes-the book draws to an end. Yes, you start feeling a lil’ too complacent and probably tired after the man-proposes-woman-accepts routine. And when you have finally finished reading it,you turn it over in your hands and look at the cover once again-a deep sigh follows. Memories of the days gone by flash back in your mind. You realise the romance with the book isn’t over as yet,it can’t be. You realise that loving her can never bore you,it can never be a tedious task for you-your heart and soul lie in it. You promise yourself that you will give the book a second reading-for old times’ sake.You have her as your companion for life. The book is yours for the keeping. And you begin to feel rejuvenated, as if thee romance has only just begun. There is a lot more life in this book.